Recommended reading

I’ve usually got at least 10 books on the go! Half of which get read, so they have to really capture me to remain interested enough to finish them. That’s this list.

The books that offered profound learning, understanding, support on my own journey:

TRAUMA

• Complex PTSD: from Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

  An absolute must read for anyone who may have experienced turbulent or chaotic childhoods. Pete Walker is a therapist who’s lived it and who brought cPTSD into public awareness. Lots of ah-ha moments, deeper understanding of yourself and your patterns and Pete provides lots of exercises that will, over time, reduce the responses that you will come to understand as cPTSD in origin.

• Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

  “I used to drink,” writes John Bradshaw, “to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed.” Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

• The Body Keeps the Score - Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk

  Trauma is a fact of life. In The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers' capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain's natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk's own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

  ADHD

• ADHD 2.0 by Ned Hallowell

  World-renowned authors and psychiatrists (who both have ADHD) Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey write this practical guide, 'ADHD 2.0', that will help you tap into the power of this mercurial condition and find the key that unlocks potential.
  

• Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood by Ned Hallowell & John Ratey

  Through vivid stories of the experiences of their patients (both adults and children), Drs. Hallowell and Ratey show the varied forms ADD takes -- from the hyperactive search for high stimulation to the floating inattention of daydreaming -- and the transforming impact of precise diagnosis and treatment.

• The ADHD Brain Buddy: A practical toolkit for adults navigating a more ADHD-friendly life by Matilda Bosley

  In her first book, The Year I Met My Brain, journalist Matilda took a deep dive into adult ADHD to understand how it all works. Now, she’s written The ADHD Brain Buddy: a treasure trove of practical tips, activities and scientific insights to help you make it through the hard days, utilise the great ones and reflect on the impact ADHD has had throughout your life. All in the pursuit of making your world easier to navigate – and way more fun.
  
  Engaging and interactive, this illustrated workbook has tricks and skills to help you sail through common scenarios across work, health and self-care, finances, life admin, relationships and more. Even boring to-do lists become a gamified adventure!

  ALCOHOL

• Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr

  In his Easy Way to Control Alcohol Allen applies his revolutionary method to drinking. With startling insight into why we drink and clear, simple, step-by-step instructions, he shows you the way to escape from the "alcohol trap" in the time it takes to read this book. His unique method removes the feeling of deprivation and works without using willpower. Allen dispels our illusions about alcohol, removes the psychological dependence and sets you free to enjoy life to the full.

  In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate

  His book is a powerful call-to-arms, both for the decriminalization of drugs and for a more sympathetic and informed view of addiction. As Maté observes, "Those whom we dismiss as 'junkies' are not creatures from a different world, only men and women mired at the extreme end of a continuum on which, here or there, all of us might well locate ourselves." Maté looks to the root causes of addiction, applying a clinical and psychological view to the physical manifestation and offering some enlightening answers for why people inflict such catastrophe on themselves.

  UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF & SUPPORT

• Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

  He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.
  

• Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr Kerryn McBride

  The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.

• Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

  Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another—has guided millions of readers toward the understanding that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

  A motivational and inspiring guide to wholehearted living, rather than just the average self-help book, with this groundbreaking work Brené Brown, Ph.D., bolsters the self-esteem and personal development process through her characteristic heartfelt, honest storytelling. With original research and plenty of encouragement, she explores the psychology of releasing our definitions of an “imperfect” life and embracing living authentically. Brown’s “ten guideposts” are benchmarks for authenticity that can help anyone establish a practice for a life of honest beauty—a perfectly imperfect life.
  

• ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholic) Trauma Syndrome - The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships by Tian Dayton PhD

• Trauma and Addiction by Tian Dayton PhD

• The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

• They F*ck You Up - How to Survive Family Life by Dr Oliver James

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl

• The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck

WHAT I’M CURRENTLY READING:

• Women Who Run With the Wolvesby Clarissa Pinkola Estés PhD

• Rewire - break the cycle, alter your thoughts and create lasting change. Your Neurotoolkit for Everyday Life by Nicole Vignola

• The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain by Alan Gordon

• Empire of Normality: Neurodiversity and Capitalism by Robert Chapman.

  Chapman is a neurodivergent philosopher/Assistant Professor in Critical Neurodiversity Studies at Durham University. This is an excellent read and will challenge your understanding of neurodiversity as a human issue, to a systems issue.

  Books clients have recommended that you might find useful (I haven’t included them above because I haven’t read them yet):

  Alcohol

  • Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whittaker (she also has ADHD and her blog Hip Sobriety - sadly now defunct - was super important to me in the early days of sobriety)

  • The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray 

  • We Are The Luckiest by Laura McKeown

  • A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone

  • Beyond Booze: How to Create a Life you Love Alcohol-Free by Sarah Rusbatch

  • This Naked Mind by Annie Grace

  • Alcohol Explained by William Porter