Ponderings on sobriety, neurodivergence, mental health & wellbeing
Welcome to my blog where I share reflections, hacks, some psychoeducation and tools for you to tap into.
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When the only way you know how to switch off is alcohol
Did last night end in a quick drink-or-three to decompress after a stressful day? No judgement here. That used to be me.
I hear this daily from single mums running on empty.
From high-fliers in careers that take everything they’ve got.
I hear it from those in enmeshed family dynamics which suck the life out of them with their expectations and guilting.
And, I hear it regularly from people who look completely fine from the outside but are hanging on by a thread behind closed doors.
(Just quietly, I think I ticked all of those boxes).
Accountability: the secret sauce in behaviour change?
Accountability. Does the word make you cringe? Instantly conjure up feelings of unwanted control or pressure?
If you’ve got a rebellious streak with a side of ADHD (ahem, guilty) then you probably really don’t like being told what to do and might already be side-eyeing me.
But the kind of accountability I’m talking about is different. And I’ve found it’s often the missing piece in making sustainable change including my own.
That’s because as humans we tend to do better when we know someone supportive is ‘watching’.
For example:
💪🏼We go to gym classes as being with others motivates us and we don’t want to be the one who walks out after 10 minutes (whereas left to our own devices we might just do that)
💪🏼We know we’re more inclined to meet a deadline when we there are consequences like failing a subject (whereas self-directed and paced learning is a ‘tomorrow’ proposition)
💪🏼We know we’re less likely to drink alcohol if we’re part of a group of people we’ve been doing that with and we’re going to see them in a day or two.
Why ‘just having one’ feels impossible with ADHD
If you've ever wondered why your relationship with alcohol feels harder than it seems to be for everyone else, it’s because with ADHD it is.
You’re not imagining it, you’re not making excuses, it is.
This makes ‘just having one’ often feel impossible. Here’s why and what to do.
What decades of brain imaging shows about the impact of alcohol on your brain
When drinking becomes a habit, the brain changes in measurable ways. For ADHDers, the stakes are even higher.
A 2019 major research review published in the Journal of Neuroscience Research pulled together decades of brain-imaging studies to show what actually happens in the brain when drinking becomes a struggle … and what happens when you stop.
8 years alcohol-free!
8 years alcohol free - and the utter magnificence of neuroplasticity!
HALT! and alcohol cravings
The H.A.L.T. method is simple, but powerful. It’s about pausing long enough to check in with yourself: Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?
These four states can quietly run the show if we don’t notice them — and they often explain why we make choices that don’t serve us. Here’s how it can help you with alcohol cravings.
Designing Your 2026: the simple process I use …
As we approach the end of another year, you might be feeling that familiar mix of relief, exhaustion, and perhaps a determination that next year is not going to be so ‘stressful’, ‘hectic’, ‘disorganised’ ……. (insert your relevant adjective here).
I don’t know about you but I’ve had one too many times where I’ve set lofty goals which swiftly fade into the background once real life starts up again. So what if we approached 2026 differently and explored what we want our next year to look and feel like, based on our actual values rather than external ‘shoulds’?
Are you in an abusive relationship - with alcohol?
Ever look at women or men in terrible, toxic relationships and wonder why they don’t just end it? Or why those who experience abuse from their partner might leave only to return again and again?
It doesn’t make any logical sense. Often, we can look at those situations from the outside and it’s unfathomable to us.
But is it? Isn’t this similar to what so many of us do in our relationships with alcohol?
The 10 Most Common Reasons ADHD clients tell me they drink
As a therapist and coach who works at the intersection of ADHD and grey area drinking, I hear a lot of the same stories from clients about why alcohol has become such a significant part of their lives. And for most of them? It’s not about celebration or fun. It’s about relief.
But here's what I want you to know: This is not a personal failing, it’s your ADHD.
Reflections from seven years alcohol-free!
Reflections from seven years sober/alcohol-free! Here’s what I’ve learnt along the way.
The Connection between ADHD and Alcohol - why it matters
Did you know that up to 43% of people with ADHD will experience an alcohol use disorder? No, neither did I until I got diagnosed in 2022, having struggled with alcohol for decades.
So, as it’s ADHD Awareness Month and Sober October, I thought I’d write about this in case it’s not something that’s come across your radar yet. The link with ADHD and all addictions is huge! 2-4 times more than the general population. And it’s not our fault, it’s the way our brains are wired.
What is grey area drinking?
What is a grey area drinker? And are you one? Accredited grey area drinking coach Faye Lawrence explains all.
Why I go to therapy
None of us have it all worked out. Not your psychiatrist, your Mum, the inflluencer you follow who talks about mental health. We are ALL fallible humans who need support, guidance, help with our 'stuff'. That includes mental health professionals and those in the helping professions. Therapy gives us a way to process our emotions, our struggles, our challenges and to see things from a different and more helpful perspective. It educates us. It gives us more awareness of who we are. Everyone should do it, frankly.