Ponderings on sobriety, ADHD, anxiety & wellbeing
Learnings, podcasts, stories, hacks and useful info for you to tap into!
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Reflections from seven years alcohol-free!
Reflections from seven years sober/alcohol-free! Here’s what I’ve learnt along the way.
HALT! and other silly season survival tips
Learning to build a solid foundation within ourselves that is anchored in knowing these truths is, for so many of us, one of the hardest things we do in life. And this time of year – amongst the fun and festivities - can bring forth old family wounds, grief, loneliness, difficult relationships and exhaustion that make it even harder to stay grounded.
So here are 3 tools for you to use over the Xmas period to manage stress, alcohol, family stuff or anything else that can impact on your sense of self:
Remember the HALT acronym – HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED? It’s a super useful tool over this period (see more below) and for life in general.
Exploring the pros and cons of Mental Health Care Plans
So, you've probably heard about GP Mental Health Care Plans (MHCPs; sometimes also referred to as MHTPs for ‘Treatment’) as a way to access mental health services more affordably. They're often the go-to from GPs when you're considering mental health treatment and the type of support/practitioner they refer them on to. However, like anything, they come with their own set of pros and cons.
Many of us are not familiar with some of the implications of the MHCP - and to be clear this article is not designed to deter you from them in any way as they are invaluable for many. But it is important for all of us as health/mental health consumers to have all the information to enable us to make the best decisions for our particular circumstances and needs. So let’s take a look.
Why I go to therapy
None of us have it all worked out. Not your psychiatrist, your Mum, the inflluencer you follow who talks about mental health. We are ALL fallible humans who need support, guidance, help with our 'stuff'. That includes mental health professionals and those in the helping professions. Therapy gives us a way to process our emotions, our struggles, our challenges and to see things from a different and more helpful perspective. It educates us. It gives us more awareness of who we are. Everyone should do it, frankly.
What is a year of your life worth?
So many of us get caught up in the shoulds and what other people think, caught up in all these weeds of expectations. (I am certainly not immune to this btw). The perfection game - one which will we'll never win.
Then we drink to tolerate the intolerable. Lives that are not our own. Lives that are lived for the approval of others.
We drink to tolerate this disconnect between who we really are and why we're not being that person, stuck in jobs we hate, hanging out with people we really don't like that much, and maybe even in unhappy relationships.
It’s time to stop wasting your life.
Why 'progress not perfection' works to support lasting change
One thing I see amongst almost all my clients is that they're extremely hard on themselves; they're perfectionists and their inner critic game is really strong. I very much identify with this too.
They want to achieve allllll the things - stopping drinking (or taking a break), getting fit, overhauling their diet, maybe stopping smoking if that's in the mix, being more organised or productive, improving their relationships, stop working as much - and quite possibly a whole raft of other things.
But, if we want to set ourselves up for success, lets learn from what psychology and behavioural science tells us does work in making changes. A mindset of ‘progress not perfection’ is critical in making and sustaining the changes we want.
How I Quit Alcohol podcast
How I Quit alcohol podcast. Faye and Danni talk cPTSD, alcoholism, socialising without alcohol and trauma.
Social anxiety + alcohol. Partners in crime.
Social anxiety. It's the absolute pits. Despite being an extrovert, natural born show off and a people person I suffered with social anxiety for a looooonnnnggggg time. A paradox, right? Alcohol helped me take the edge off before (and during) socialising. I would always feel extremely anxious about meeting new people or being in big groups. Here’s what I did.
The fear of socialising without booze.
My next challenge when I got sober was, or so I thought at the time, reinventing myself or at least discovering who I was. I mean, who the hell was I without booze? I had no clue. I’d been a big boozer for three decades, my whole adult life. I didn’t know how to operate in the world without it. It was terrifying.
And, what was I going to do now, socially? Would I be a social pariah? I didn’t want to ditch my old friends as they were my mates, with or without booze. Would they ditch me though, now I could no longer come and party? If I’m honest I avoided non-drinkers like the plague, assumed they were beyond tedious and would never in a million years dream of dating one. And here I was, one of them. Ugh, these were massive concerns of mine.