Ponderings on sobriety, ADHD, anxiety & wellbeing

Learnings, podcasts, stories, hacks and useful info for you to tap into!


Sober Dating and Sober Sex - The Sober Awkward Podcast
Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence

Sober Dating and Sober Sex - The Sober Awkward Podcast

It's here! The episode all the single sober souls have been waiting for. Sober Dating! Seeing as Vic and Lucy know nothing about sober dating they have invited on an expert. Faye is the founder of Untoxicated, is a grey area drinking coach and an all-round professional party pooper. She has been on and off the sober dating scene since she gave up booze 4 years ago. Today they discuss everything from their drunken dating pasts, vulnerable sober sex and all the squishy stuff in-between. In this cheeky episode you'll get to find out what it's really like showing up to a date as you, no mask, no crutches. Together Vic and Faye discover that sober dating is about maturity, boundaries, and practice. It really is a case of feeling the awkward and doing it anyway!

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Social anxiety + alcohol. Partners in crime.
Anxiety, Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence Anxiety, Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence

Social anxiety + alcohol. Partners in crime.

Social anxiety. It's the absolute pits. Despite being an extrovert, natural born show off and a people person I suffered with social anxiety for a looooonnnnggggg time. A paradox, right? Alcohol helped me take the edge off before (and during) socialising. I would always feel extremely anxious about meeting new people or being in big groups. Here’s what I did.

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The Destructive Cycle of Addiction: When it’s bad but you still can’t give up.
Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking) Faye Lawrence

The Destructive Cycle of Addiction: When it’s bad but you still can’t give up.

Sometimes life comes and hits you in the face with a smack because, well, that’s just what life does to check you’re still paying attention.

That’s what happened when I stumbled upon this old, anonymous blog post I wrote in 2015 (below). I wrote it after an alcohol fuelled incident that was so mortifying and shameful that I resolved that it ‘really was it this time’.

And guess what? It wasn’t really it this time.

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The fear of socialising without booze.
Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking), Anxiety Faye Lawrence Alcohol (Grey Area Drinking), Anxiety Faye Lawrence

The fear of socialising without booze.

My next challenge when I got sober was, or so I thought at the time, reinventing myself or at least discovering who I was. I mean, who the hell was I without booze? I had no clue. I’d been a big boozer for three decades, my whole adult life. I didn’t know how to operate in the world without it. It was terrifying.

And, what was I going to do now, socially? Would I be a social pariah? I didn’t want to ditch my old friends as they were my mates, with or without booze. Would they ditch me though, now I could no longer come and party? If I’m honest I avoided non-drinkers like the plague, assumed they were beyond tedious and would never in a million years dream of dating one. And here I was, one of them. Ugh, these were massive concerns of mine.

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