Ponderings on sobriety, neurodivergence, mental health & wellbeing
Welcome to my blog where I share reflections, hacks, some psychoeducation and tools for you to tap into.
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What to do next if you think you might have ADHD: diagnosis & treatment
An overview of ADHD assessment, diagnosis and treatment for adults in Australia. Plus some recommendations, tips and insights that I learnt along the way.
The Connection between ADHD and Alcohol - why it matters
Did you know that up to 43% of people with ADHD will experience an alcohol use disorder? No, neither did I until I got diagnosed in 2022, having struggled with alcohol for decades.
So, as it’s ADHD Awareness Month and Sober October, I thought I’d write about this in case it’s not something that’s come across your radar yet. The link with ADHD and all addictions is huge! 2-4 times more than the general population. And it’s not our fault, it’s the way our brains are wired.
What is ADHD? An introduction
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been in the news and social media a LOT over the last couple of years. But the reality is not ‘everyone is a little bit ADHD’ like we hear frequently. ADHD can be impairing across a heap of life domains. We take a look at what it is, the different types, what it impacts, and how it shows up in people's lives.
What is grey area drinking?
What is a grey area drinker? And are you one? Accredited grey area drinking coach Faye Lawrence explains all.
Why I go to therapy
None of us have it all worked out. Not your psychiatrist, your Mum, the inflluencer you follow who talks about mental health. We are ALL fallible humans who need support, guidance, help with our 'stuff'. That includes mental health professionals and those in the helping professions. Therapy gives us a way to process our emotions, our struggles, our challenges and to see things from a different and more helpful perspective. It educates us. It gives us more awareness of who we are. Everyone should do it, frankly.
Lessons learnt from my first sober overseas holiday …
Living life without alcohol is full of firsts. They come thick and fast in the beginning days, weeks and months. What will that first meal out without alcohol be like? The first social gathering? The first date? The first tough conversation? We are constantly leaning into the unknown when we navigate life sans booze.
But there’s nothing as daunting as a month’s trip overseas sober - throw in family, old friends, a big birthday, long haul flights and a heap of different countries and you’ve got triggers galore! So, what did I learn about navigating an overseas holiday alcohol-free?
What is a year of your life worth?
So many of us get caught up in the shoulds and what other people think, caught up in all these weeds of expectations. (I am certainly not immune to this btw). The perfection game - one which will we'll never win.
Then we drink to tolerate the intolerable. Lives that are not our own. Lives that are lived for the approval of others.
We drink to tolerate this disconnect between who we really are and why we're not being that person, stuck in jobs we hate, hanging out with people we really don't like that much, and maybe even in unhappy relationships.
It’s time to stop wasting your life.
Are you letting other people’s opinions hold you back?
Often clients tell me that one of the biggest hurdles for them when they're changing their drinking habits is other people. And I totally get it. It used to terrify me too.
Would they think I was boring? That I had a problem with alcohol? (which I did). Would they still want to be friends with me? Would I belong anymore? Would people still invite me? Would they think I was a weirdo? (guilty 😂). Would they pressure and guilt me? Would I be letting people down because I wasn't showing up as 'the entertainment'?
What others thought of me was more important than what I thought of myself. And it holds you back in your alcohol-free journey.
Why 'progress not perfection' works to support lasting change
One thing I see amongst almost all my clients is that they're extremely hard on themselves; they're perfectionists and their inner critic game is really strong. I very much identify with this too.
They want to achieve allllll the things - stopping drinking (or taking a break), getting fit, overhauling their diet, maybe stopping smoking if that's in the mix, being more organised or productive, improving their relationships, stop working as much - and quite possibly a whole raft of other things.
But, if we want to set ourselves up for success, lets learn from what psychology and behavioural science tells us does work in making changes. A mindset of ‘progress not perfection’ is critical in making and sustaining the changes we want.
I’m sober, so why do I feel sad?
So you’ve given up alcohol but yet you’re feeling sadness or grief? Don’t worry, it’s normal. Here’s why.
Team DSC podcast: addiction, ADHD and acceptance
Faye talks to Roland and Evie of Team DSC on the Disability Done Different podcast about her late diagnosis of ADHD at 48, and what she’s learnt since:
🧠 the overlap with addiction in terms of shame and stigma
🧠 why so many people with ADHD experience addiction of some kind
🧠 why the language we use about things that impact us is so laden and complex
🧠 why late diagnosis can be a tricky one to get your head around
Dry But Wet podcast: Sober Socialising with Faye Lawrence
🎙️"There has to be room for fun and playfulness in sobriety".
Thank you to the wonderful Amy from Dry But Wet for having me on her poddy to chat about my journey from party girl, to out-of-control boozer, through rehab and out the other side and founding Untoxicated, and how to make friends when alcohol isn’t in the mix.
How to talk to Family and Friends about Changing your Drinking Habits
If you’ve made the choice to change the way you drink, or give up alcohol completely, you may struggle with how to navigate certain social situations. These go-to responses will help you feel confident in your decision and have some ideas for what to say when asked why you’re not drinking.
What I’ve learned from 5 years sober.
Here’s what I’ve learnt from 5 years sobriety. Some of the highlights of what I've learned along the way - on recovery, people pleasing and how to stay sober.
10 top tips to surviving a family Christmas alcohol-free
Top ten tips for staying sober at a family Christmas!